My First Rant

Well, here goes nothing...

I decided to start this blog on the advice of a very dear friend of mine. Supposedly this could help me get some of my conflicting emotions out of my head and onto paper...where I am sure they will do little good to anyone else, but hey, maybe I will get at least a little peace from having written them down. Where do I begin?

I have noticed over the past year or two that I am angry too often. I have just in the last week been angry for the following reasons:

• At the universe for taking away souls that I feel like I have only just began to know
• At my fellow humans for increasingly being self-obsessed (this includes but is certainly not limited to many of my fellow drivers)
• At George Bush and pretty much all politicians with the exception of Barack Obama
• At my S.O. for not thinking that some things are as important as I think they are (even though I know that he absolutely does his best to try to read my mind - and often times he succeeds)
• At my mother for increasingly being mentally unstable at times and thereby scaring the bejesus out of me
• At my body for being sick these past two weeks and at times rendering me a useless lump on the couch
  
• At the universe for not providing me with the job that I want, when I want it, where I want it (speaking of self-obsessed people...lol!)

I guess what all of these things come down to is the lack of control that I feel. I am stuck and there is nothing that I can do about it. Not that I am unhappy with my life - I really am not. I am happy with the things that I can choose - for instance where I live and with whom I live (though I would be happier if my friends were closer). But there are some choice things that I want to change so badly and I can't. And that is where the anger comes in.

I am sure that other humans have their anger too...so what do they do about it? Probably most of them just bury it or shrug it off. Which is my problem I think, I have just been burying it or shrugging it off for years and now it feels like I just don't care to do that anymore. Something in me just doesn't want to let it go. And underlying all of this anger is a deep sadness...a feeling like the world (and the U.S. in particular) is headed for certain doom and there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it.

Well, on that light note, I will now end by posting a picture of the cake I made for a wedding two weeks ago. It is a white chocolate cheesecake with a dark chocolate crust decorated with white chocolate roses and curls:


I just have to keep remembering what makes me happy. A few others that make me happy: